It isn't often in this life we get a "do-over". The "do-overs" I've had were pretty much anti-climatic anyway. It just isn't possible to feel the same way you did as a child on Christmas morning. Since I was a little girl, I've not felt the total freedom of childhood that came with the start of Summer Vacation. I can remember getting up and going outside, feeling like I had "forever" in front of me to play. I wish I could feel that feeling again. One of the saddest things about getting older, is that you can't have the time back. You can't make it happen again, and feel the same joy.
But that changed this weekend. For the last few months, I've been part of a committee to plan a reunion. Not just any old reunion...but the reunion of my high school Concert Choir. The planning stages were a ton of fun...reconnecting, planning and anticipating. But the event...it was beyond my wildest expectation! Friday night and Saturday morning, we re-connected with old friends and acquaintances. What joy! So many vaguely familiar faces, and then recognition, hugs and laughter! I admit I was a little worried. How would it be to see people that I knew back then, when life was uncertain and sometimes painful? However, it was purely joyful experience in the body of a mature, confident woman, instead of an insecure adolescent girl.
When we joined as a group, and sang our first notes, it wasn't very pretty. We stumbled through an unfamiliar song, with voices uncertain. And then it happened. The second song. A old choir anthem..."The Blessing of Aaron". The voices, together in harmony, growing stronger with every measure. We ended softly after a crescendo, with an echo filling the church. The director smiled, and we smiled, and we moved forward with excitement. Mature voices now, no longer youthful sounding, but rich, full, and confident (well...maybe not confident yet, but certainly exuberant!) We spent the day together in practice with a break for lunch. That evening we enjoyed a banquet. Many people took the opportunity to tell others how their lives were touched all those years ago. We seldom we get the opportunity to know when we have impacted another. There was a lot of that type of sharing going on. Best of all, we got to tell our director how he impacted our lives. And he shared how we had impacted his life as well. He called us his "kids". What an honor. He made such a huge difference in my life.
On Sunday, we performed in a concert for our families and friends. We were all united in the goal of making beautiful music together. And we all looked to our director with respect and admiration. I know that I was especially anticipating his look of approval at the end of the concert. I've always remembered the little sparkle in his eye when he was proud of our performance. I got far more. I saw that sparkle, but also tears, and joy beyond my expectations.
All in all...it was one of the best experiences of my life. I am so glad that one day, 30+ years ago, I sang "Come Saturday Morning" nervously as I auditioned for Concert Choir. I'm so thankful that my name was on the list of new choir members a few days later. How wonderful to know that "do-overs" are possible. And that they can be even better than we might ever even imagine!
