A Lesson In Submission

"I'm not doing that"..."I'm not comfortable doing that"..."We've never done it like that before for a very good reason"...I could go on. Our church's pastor decided that we needed to do a service project. And because no one would show up to do it any other day, he decided it would be done on a Sunday morning. He gave us plenty of warning...more than enough to dream up a variety of excuses as to why one couldn't (or wouldn't) attend that day. I sat, arms crossed, lips tight, weekly as he talked about it. We had 3 options open to us...a nursing home visit, a coffee shop, or a clean-up project.

Our church has gone through a lot of changes lately. People that have been members for years have left. Families that have attended for generations have left. The reasons for the exodus, I'm not completely sure. I've had a few suspicions. I've avoided asking for the most part. What I have felt in my heart is that this man is on to something. I'm not always sure what. I know that he can preach unlike any I've ever heard before, without a doubt. But I really have believed that God is at work here. New people are coming in...lots of them!

Which brings me back to my tale. I've watched the people that seemed to be supportive of this "new approach" to ministry. I'm noticing that some of the people embracing the difference, were people that really didn't get involved in our "traditional" ministry opportunities. I'm noticing that people that sometimes seemed "on the outside" of things, are digging in to these new things. And with that, I needed to look into my own heart. See...my pastor is a very young man (about the same age as my oldest daughter). And he was asking me to step way beyond what I was comfortable doing, and on a Sunday morning! But God reminded me that this young man is my church's pastor. He is the spiritual leader of this church I love so much. And then...God asked me a question. "Kathy, are you at least willing to pick up garbage for me?" "I would do anything for you Lord", I replied..."even pick up garbage".

So with that, I found myself in the middle of a parking lot, next to a river on a 95 degree day, wearing jeans, socks, shoes, a long sleeved shirt to keep the sun off of my "whiter that white" skin, gloves,and a hat...with a garbage bag, and a rake. My first impression seeing the river, is that I've lived in this community for 40 years, and have never seen that river from this location. It was beautiful! And the closer I looked, I saw weeds, and trash. Lots and lots of disgusting garbage. I worked along side a woman I've known since high school. We worked together, pulling weeds, picking up garbage and talking. (By the way...she was quite a power house, needing fewer breaks than I...and I'm a year younger!) We also spent some time working quietly. As I picked up garbage, I thought about how it relates to my stinking garbage attitude (I still didn't have the best of thoughts about the project). I can look "all together" on a Sunday morning for church as I sing in worship, but yet I can have stinking garbage polluting my heart, attitude and life...and no one can see it unless they look very closely.

It was then I realized why I was there. It was about submission. It was about God directing how I will serve Him...not my own self-driven will. It was about allowing my pastor to lead me as he was called by my church, and God to do...not as I think he should. It was miserably hot...and in a way, I felt like I was being taught a lesson by God. I was uncomfortable, and it was an unpleasant task. As I worked, I felt my defiant heart change a bit. It became resolved. It became willing. It even became a little bit more joyful.

Will I be quick to step out of that comfort zone next time? I hope so...but knowing me, I'll probably still put up a fight (inside that is). But I did learn a lesson. It's up to God how I serve Him...not me. And yes...I will pick up garbage if that's what my King askes of me.

For absolute crying out loud!

For absolute crying out loud! I am so sick of being in the center of some sort of "drama". The root of all of it seems to be jealousy. Jealousy with a healthy dose of self-centeredness. And both are sin. I am not throwing stones here. I can lean toward both very easily...I can and do more often than I care to admit. But I do admit it when I recognize it, and take them both to Jesus. At some point though, I am just going to explode from it all! I really don't care much for conflict. But I so often these days, find myself in the center of it. My nature is to just retreat from it all...pull back into a little shell, and let it all pass me by. But even doing that gets me in trouble.



Ahhh...Lord, help me see through your eyes!

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

How unsearchable His judgements, and His paths beyond tracing out!

Who has known the mind of the Lord?

Or who has been His councilor?

Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?

For in Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things.

To Him be the glory forever!

Amen"

Romans 11:33-36