I honestly had no idea that a crisis pregnancy could be so traumatic to an entire family. I used to think that it was certainly not easy, but that one would just have to accept it, and move on. But I am learning that it is a situation that is not only life altering for the "mother-to-be", but it also has profound affects on parents, siblings, and friends. Not to mention one's church family.
The Pro-Life stand that my church has taken has always been dear to my heart. I was told once, by a pastor's wife that it "isn't enough to be Pro-Life, you have to also be Pro-Mother". It's easy to say the words, but is it easy to walk that walk? Is it enough to say "NO" to abortion, but is it easy to walk beside the woman who chooses life? Once she chooses life, do we forget about her and go on to our next challenge? In the mean time, she is pregnant, confused, and wondering what she will do when this little one comes. Is it easier for us when this mother is a nameless stranger who we are helping with our denotations? Are we only willing to walk along side her when she meets our requirements for "worthiness"? Is this child as much of a gift from God as the child conceived in wedlock? THIS CHILD IS NOT SIN...THIS CHILD IS EQUALLY AS PRECIOUS IN GOD'S EYES AS THE CHILD WE CELEBRATE IN A MARRIED FAMILY!
I feel that we may all have a double standard. Perhaps it is because we have convinced ourselves that unplanned pregnancies only happen to women who haven't been brought up in the church. Perhaps we have convinced ourselves that this only happens to "other people's daughters". Well I'm here to tell you it happens to OUR daughters, to MY daughter, to YOUR daughter. This daughter needs YOUR support. She needs the support of her church. Even if she is too embarrassed to attend services, she NEEDS her church to understand, and to show her love. If she believes she is being judged and looked down upon, what reason will she have to EVER return?
Even if you don't agree with her choices...Show her that LOVE! She already feels condemnation...she feels it EVERY DAY. She doesn't need her church to remind her of her sin...she looks down and sees it EVERY DAY. To be Pro-Life means to be "Pro-Mother, and "Pro-Baby". This baby is every bit as valuable to God as any other baby. He/She is not the "sin". He is the amazing work of our loving Heavenly Father, and for this we should celebrate!
4 comments:
Hey kathy, I am a fellow LPM blogger and I couldn't find your email so I just responded to this post but it has nothing to do with this post. Ok, GO BACK TO SCHOOL! My mother-in-law is in her 50's, always wanted to be a Librarian and God opened up a huge door for her to work part time for the school system and go back to get her 2nd masters and next year she will be rolling, if it is His will, He will open the door! You just be in charge of knocking!!!!!!!! Praying for you!
Kelly
Amaris-
My heart goes out to you and your family. I wish I had words to help. You are a good sister. I'm grateful that my daughter has a good sister too (my younger daughter). Just be there for your sister from far away. She is blessed to have you.
If you think she would read it, let your mom see my blog. I'm by no means a pro at this, but I just want God to use what we are going through to make a difference somehow. I KNOW that these little one's days were written before the world began. They are precious in His sight!
This post is SO right. Thank you for your insight. I just wish that i could get my mom to see this truth. I have a sister who has had 3 babies with the same man, but they aren't going to get married - which is actually good: he's not marriage material, and unstable, at best.
All of these precious babies were unplanned, each one came after my sister got back together with their father... in a moment of weakness. He's stayed out of their lives, for most of it, though.
I know my sister is hurting so deeply - and i know that my mom never lets her forget the shame or sins that my sister committed. I pointed out that the same sins were committed by others in the family... but as they didn't result in pregnancy, my mom only treats this sister bad - because she can SEE the results in her case.
It's so wrong, and i'm so angry that my mom is so judgmental [at times, appears even unloving]towards my sister. I've tried talking about it with her before, but she won't listen.
She even got so bad, that only a month after my sister had her youngest daughter, she had mentioned that her back & feet were hurting - my mom told her she needed to lose weight. I was shocked, and hurt for my sister. Who tells that to a woman, a few weeks after giving birth??
Sorry this comment is so long. Your post really touched me. My heart aches for my sister - for someone - ESPECIALLY CHRISTIANS - to show her love. I am far away, and can't be there for her...
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